On my desktop, I have a handy little to-do list that pops up on the right hand side of my screen. For the past seven months or so, I’ve had the Rhodes and Marshall Scholarships on this to-do list, from ‘get initial personal statement to Kyle’ to ‘check with letter writers,’ and just about everything in between and beyond imaginable. As of this weekend, my to-do list is finally cleared, and I spent the last five or so days feeling almost weightless with the completion of these scholarships.

The Rhodes and the Marshall scholarships are arguably two of the most prestigious scholarships in the United States, and both would be unbelievable opportunities. The Rhodes covers two years of education at Oxford, and the Marshall funds two years of graduate work anywhere in the United Kingdom. If I am fortunate enough to get the Rhodes, I want to study for a BA in Philosophy, Politics, and Economics at Oxford, and if I am lucky enough to get the Marshall, I want to pursue two master’s degrees at the University of Glasgow—and MSc in Global Movements, Social Justice and Sustainability and an MSc in Human Rights and International Politics.

In a nutshell, here’s what I had to do for these two:

The Rhodes application packet consisted of a cover sheet, one 1000 word personal statement summing up why and how I want to do what I want to do with my life—a confusing phrase, but essentially who I am in three pages, a two page resume, a copy of my transcript, a copy of my passport, and a passport sized photo…and all of these items had to be reproduced ten times. So, after completion, my Rhodes packet was a little over 70 pages. In addition, I needed 8 letters of recommendation for this scholarship, and each of my (fantastic!!) letter writers had to submit, along with a form signed by me, 10 copies of their letters.

The Marshall consisted of much less paperwork, but had more writing involved. The application was online, which made things much, much easier. I had a similar 1000 word personal statement, but an additional 500 words on my proposed program of study, and 500 words about why I wanted to study in the United Kingdom. The application asked other questions that, if they were all listed on two pages, would have been pretty close to my resume. The Marshall, like the Rhodes, had more letters of recommendation than any other scholarship or position I’ve every applied for before.

Between mid-April of this year and October 2, I probably went through about 25 different drafts of my personal statement—some never left my computer, others flew back and forth between Kyle Mox, the Texas A&M National Scholarships Coordinator, and I, but only one went out; hopefully it was the right combination of all my attempts.

Andrew Matteson is one of my dearest friends, and last year, he went through this exact same process, except that he had the added stress of ending a ten month engagement—with me. After going through the same thing myself, I can honestly say that I understand what happened last October a little better. Applying for the Rhodes and the Marshall scholarships was the most intensive look at myself that I’ve ever gone through. Even if nothing comes out of this process, the process itself has been so rewarding. I’ve essentially cut away at myself until I’ve found exactly who I am; even without achieving either of these scholarships, I’m in a far better position to make decisions about my future because I know who I want to be and what I want to do.

I’ll find out in a few weeks, around the beginning of November, if I’ve been selected for an interview for either the Marshall or Rhodes. If so, then I’ll attend the interviews, give it my best shot, and see what happens. Hopefully, my blog around November-time will be about the interview questions, but even if it’s not, I will consider this process well worth the time and tears involved.

But for now, it's nice to have a break :)